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Posts Tagged ‘healthy-living’

I want to say a big thank you to all of you who commented on my last post and through other avenues. Knowing that it happens to the best of us, and that I’m not alone in feeling this way, has made it easier to really focus on what needs to be done.

Having a strong support system in place is going to be key for me as I continue on this journey and I am grateful that you are all a part of it.

I would like to clarify though that running is not a problem for me. In fact, running is what keeps me sane as a busy mom to two small children. Yes, it’s hard to get out the door sometimes but that has nothing to do with the actual act of running. Running never feels like a chore or something that I have to do. Mustering up the motivation seems like a chore sometimes but that would be the case whether my choice of activity was running or something completely different.

I live in a small rural area. The closest gym is 40 minutes away and they do not offer any classes (which is what I would want to go there for). I have a vast collection of DVDs that I can use in my house, as well as a bike trainer for my road bike that is set-up in the basement. The only downfall to those two things is that I am still in my house. Running on the other hand allows me to escape the laundry, the dishes, the toys, the constant chatter (don’t get me wrong, I do love the chatter, just not all the time), etc. I either get to catch up with a friend or myself and that is something that is very important to me.

Running is also one area of my life where I don’t compare myself to other people, only to myself.

My favourite running quote is this:

“Whether it’s a 7-minute mile, or a 14-minute mile, it is still a mile.”

I may be slower or faster than you but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are both out there doing what we love and testing our own limits and capabilities.

Yes, I want to improve but I think that goes without saying. There is always room for improvement.

I don’t officially start my marathon training program until the end of December. I am taking the time until then to build up my base and focus on losing some weight. If I miss a run for some unforeseen reason I won’t stress about it.

My Mom arrives in a week from Nova Scotia for a 2-week visit. I am looking forward to being able to run during the day while she is here, as well as being able to take her to some of my favourite running spots.

I’m still trying to figure things out but I am facing it with a positive attitude.

And in the words of my friend Tara, I need to stop being my own worse enemy. Please take the time to read her post. For me and for yourself.

 

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I don’t really know where to start so I guess I’ll just dive right in…

Remember when I wrote this post about my weight loss goals and how I said I was going to blog daily about how things were going? Yea, it seems like an eternity ago and just incase you hadn’t noticed the obvious I have not been blogging daily about it.

The reason is because truthfully, the things are not going well and I can’t figure out why.

I want this so bad, and I can visualize where I want to be in a year, but none of that matters because I am not taking the steps I need to take in order to make these goals a reality.

I know what I need to do and I have the knowledge and tools to make it happen but it’s not.

I think back to the times in my life when I was successful at losing weight and getting fit and it makes me wonder why it seems so hard this time around. The things I did before don’t seem to be working this time around.

I seriously need a swift kick, or 10, in the butt and I just can’t seem to do it to myself. It frustrates me to the point where I just don’t even want to think about it anymore.

I don’t know what the answer is but I know I need to find it.

It’s not that I’m making terrible choices, and I’m trying to fit in activity daily, but I know I have to buckle down and really commit or nothing is going to happen. I need to stop making excuses as to why I can wait one more day to really get serious.

I can start this without my new running shoes and the new book that are en route. Nothing significant is going to happen once these items are in my hands so why wait?

I need to stop waiting for the proverbial Monday to arrive because it’s not going to. Not now and not ever.

Maybe writing this will give me the kick in the butt I need. I can hope it will but hoping is not the same as doing. I need to stop wishing that things will change and take the steps to make them change.

I feel a lot of pressure to lose the baby weight. Pressure from society and pressure from myself. Pressure that is almost too much to handle at times. I don’t know why some new moms feel this way because the logical side of me knows that I didn’t put the weight on overnight so I can’t expect to lose it overnight. But in a world where it seems like some people can do just that it makes it harder on the rest of us.

I need to remember that my beginning is not the same as someone elses. My end goal might be someone elses starting off point. It doesn’t make my journey any more, or any less, significant it just makes it something different.

It makes it my own.

I need to stop focusing on the big picture. I need to remember what I said I was going to do and that’s to take it one day at a time. I need to make the time to go for a run even if I have to go alone. I need to start opening up more about my struggles and not try to make this blog all sunshine and roses. Life is not like that. Yes, I still want to have fun with my blog but I can’t be afraid to express myself. I can’t let the fact that just because I have IRL friends and family who read my blog stop me from opening up. Yes, it’s scary to know that people close to me will read some of this but I can’t let that hold me back from doing something that is going to help me in the long run.

I am grateful for this community and only ask for your support, advice, and maybe the occasional kick in the butt.

I still don’t know what the next step is but I will continue to search for it all while drinking my water and hitting the pavement whenever I can.

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The one thing that I love the most about running is that it does not discriminate.

Young or old, male or female, short or tall, fast or slow, fit or “fat”, etc. running is for EVERYONE.

This was made even more apparent to me at my race on Sunday.

I went into the race with a horrible mindset thinking I was going to stick out like a sore thumb because I do not look like a *typical* runner. I just had a baby so I’m carrying around a lot of extra weight and as much as I try to not let it bother me it still does. But the truth of the matter is there is no *typical* look that a runner should or must have.

If you run then you are a runner.

We do not have to fit into a cookie cutter mould of what a runner should look like. We are all out there for our own personal reasons. Some of us have been running longer and are out to PR. Some of us are just starting and merely want to finish. Some of us are in the middle looking for the next big challenge.

On Sunday I saw many different runners all of whom were inspiring.

There was the older couple who ran the half-marathon together.

There was the group of girlfriends who ran the 10K together and only went as fast as the slowest friend.

There was the father running with his eight or nine-year-old son. As they passed me for the second time I mentioned how awesome it was and that one day I hope my own kids will share my love of running.

There was the lady who just had shoulder surgey 8 weeks ago who was supposed to run the half-marathon but decided it was best to run the 10K instead of not running at all.

There were the two friends, dressed in pink, walking the half-marathon. The one woman was a larger lady who wasn’t letting her physical shape stop her from participating.

There was the  lady I saw breastfeeding her baby on the grass after the race with her medal dangling over her cover-up.

There was my friend Leanne who despite rolling her ankle the weekend before got a PR in the half-marathon.

There was my friend Krista who has the best attitude towards running than anyone else I have ever met.

Then there was me who, in an attempt to make excuses for my own physical shape, made sure to let people know I just had a baby two-months ago. I didn’t do it to brag and realizse I was using it as a kind of defense mechanism. But in the process I discovered that no one was judging me negatively and I like to think I inspired a few people of my own that day the same way the above runners inspired me.

It’s difficult not to compare ourselves to other runners at times or to get caught-up in what we think a runner should be.

Because the beautiful thing about running is that, even though it is such an idividual sport, we are all in it together and the support can truly be amazing and inspiring.

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It’s been one week since I came clean about how much weight I want to lose. In that one week I started to clean up my diet (focusing more on whole foods) and tried to move on a daily basis even if all I could fit in was a walk around the neighbourhood with the kids.

I plan to weigh-in weekly and record it here.

This week I am down 2 lbs.

I’ll take it because that means I am 2 lbs closer to my goal.

This week I am going to continue to focus on whole foods as well as running. I have a 10K coming up on October 7 and want to get some more time on my feet before then. I’ll be starting to run three times during the week with a friend and at least once on the weekend.

I’m feeling good about the past week. I still have a way to go but it took over nine months to get here so I can’t expect things to happen overnight. I can’t let small hiccups derail my overall goal.

And in unrelated news, we were in Vancouver Friday night so I could go see Jason Mraz live in concert. It was an amazing show and I was lucky to have scored second row seats. Unfortunately the camera on my older iPhone sucks so I didn’t get very good pictures.

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If I was a teenager I would be bummed. But now that I’m in my 30s I’m a-ok with not having the greatest pictures because I have the memories – and the YouTube videos that other concert goers have posted 🙂

Until tomorrow…

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Today ended on a high note with a 3 mile run on my favourite trail with the dog.

I headed out after supper, and before bedtime, to fit in some much-needed movement and alone time. I did a 5:1 run:walk ratio and felt great. I have some stiffness in my calves but nothing that can’t be taken care of with some foam rolling.

I needed this run today to make me feel better mentally about eating a few ju jubes this afternoon.

I know in the grand scheme of things a few ju jubes isn’t that big of deal but the fact that I ate them just because they were there is kind of a big deal.

Even after reading Melissa’s post over on Live, Love, & Run about mindful eating (go check it out) I still ate the darn ju jubes.

But I’m over it.

Normally when I do something like that I would throw my hands up in the air and call the day a total write off. Basically, I would use a few bites of some “forbidden” food as an excuse to eat all the crap that I could get my hands on. That wasn’t the case today and that in and of itself is something I am proud of.

Instead I ate a giant salad with roasted chicken breast for lunch and moved on with my day.

Even my run could have easily been pushed aside because the friend I was supposed to run with had to take a rain check.

So despite the ju jubes I’m deeming day 2 a success as well.

And now I know not to bring them into the house for a while. Not until I can trust myself to keep my hands out of the bag.

I also know that a run at the end of the day is a beautiful thing and the perfect way to clear my head and reflect on the day – while keeping one eye on the look-out for bears.

That’s why I run with the dog 🙂

Until tomorrow…

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One day down

First of all, thank you for all the love and support on my coming clean post. It means a lot to me!

So, as promised, here I am after my first full day since issuing myself a wake-up call. I started the morning with a glass of water, something I’m used to since I am breastfeeding, followed by a breakfast of egg whites and veggies. Normally our days begin in a leisurely fashion but today was Lincoln’s first day at pre-school so we had to be up, fed, dressed, and out the door by 8:15 am. It was tight but we did it. Skipping breakfast was never an option simply because I love it too much. I also love being able to set the stage for the day food-wise.

Lincoln will be attending pre-school every Monday morning in Rock Creek. He is there for 3 hours giving me plenty of time to fit in some exercise. Today, after dropping off our kids, my friend and I strapped on the babes and headed for a walk. It’s a good thing we had 3 hours because soon after we began her little guy decided it was time to eat. We took a detour to the local coffee shop to chat and feed the little ones. I had a decaf Americano with a splash of milk. Coffee is a tough one for me because it always makes me crave something sweet. I cannot drink coffee with a savoury breakfast but I also know if I have coffee then I will want something sweet for breakfast. The best option for me is to usually forego coffee in the morning or else I find myself reaching for a pre-breakfast piece of toast with peanut butter, or a handful of cereal, to go with it.

It’s one of my triggers.

Thankfully I had good company to distract me today.

We finished our walk after we were done and have planned to make it a weekly occurrence.

The rest of the day was filled with lunch, grocery shopping, feedings, and making supper. I made chicken stir-fry for supper and the boys had rice while I served mine over spinach. It’s like I said yesterday; one day and one meal at a time.

Today I moved and kept my eating clean and it feels great.

Thanks again for all your comments!

Until tomorrow…

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This post is a long time coming and truth be told I’m scared to push the publish button.

Scared because I know it’s time for me to get real about my weight-loss goals, and come clean on the blog, because that’s what this is all about.
It’s no secret that I had a baby and with that came some weight gain. Yes, I ran and then walked for the majority of my pregnancy but the weight gain still ended up being more than I wanted. As a result I have a relatively large amount of weight I want/need to lose in order to feel and look my best (in my own eyes, no one elses). The only person who I have shared this number with has been my husband.

Until now.

I know part of the process is to be 100 percent honest and up front. How else am I going to share my journey with you all if I’m not, right? I also believe that it will be easier if I have a place to share the joys and frustrations that will come with it all, and that place is here.

So back to that number.

Four years ago, at our wedding, I felt great and like I was in the best shape of my life. In order to get back to that place (at least on the scale) I will need to lose 60 lbs. In order to get to my ideal weight (at least what I think my ideal weight is because I may arrive there sooner at a completely different number) I need to lose an additional 20 lbs.

That’s 80 lbs total.

I know the number on the scale is not the be all to end all, which is why I will also use measurements, the fit of my clothes, improvements in my running/fitness, and before & after photos to help measure my success.

The first set of before pictures were taken on September 15 and let me tell you they were not pretty. The only great thing about them is the fact that I had just gotten back from a run so I’m covered in sweat and in my running clothes. No, I will not be sharing these pictures just yet, but if you stick with me I guarantee you will see them in the future.

We all have to start somewhere and this is my beginning. As scary as it is to open up like this I know it is the only way I am going to successful. Part of me is ashamed by my weight gain and in a sense  always felt like if I didn’t mention it on the blog than it didn’t really exist. Well, it does exist and now it is time to really buckle down and do something about it.

In an effort to not get caught up in the overall goal I am going to take it one day at a time, one meal at a time. I know I can eat clean and move for one day.

Just one day.

Once that day is over then a new day starts and I will have the same approach: it’s just one day. One day closer to the new me. One day that I can be proud to blog about.

I also feel an important part of the process, at least in the early stages, is going to be for me to blog about each day as it happens. I’ve never really been a daily recap type of blogger but with everything in life I feel we have to go with what works best for our current situation. So every evening, once the kids are in bed, I will blog about the ups and downs of the day.

Not everything will be weight-loss related though since I’m about to embark on another journey. A journey that will see me run a full marathon in May 2013. A journey that will go hand-in-hand with getting into the best shape of my life. Training will officially start at the beginning of October once my first 10K (post-baby) is under my belt.

If you don’t hear from me one day please do me a favour and call me out on it.

Thanks for listening.

Until tomorrow…

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